Experiencing Our Life Force, the first step in knowing the True Self

by Michael Ketterhagen

“Meditation helps us achieve fulfillment by introducing us to a higher reality within ourselves.

Swami Rama, the founder of the Himalayan Institute, shared this essential yet profound insight:

‘Meditation does that which nothing else can—it introduces you to yourself.’”

--Pandit Rajmani Tigunait, PhD,

in the book, Vishoka Meditation: The Yoga of Inner Radiance

When I was first introduced to meditation, I was told to just watch my breath. I learned quite quickly that my mind was not interested in watching the breath flow in and out of my nostrils for very long. It got bored rather quickly and started to think of all kinds of things. Sure, there were moments of peace and calm as I struggled to return my mind to the flow of the breath in the nostrils. But my mind would become like a “wandering Aramean” (Dueterotomy 26.5). My mind would give into its “roaming tendencies” (YS 1.2).

I, then, learned that “yoga is mastery of the roaming tendencies of the mind” (YS 1:2). That didn’t make a lot of sense as everyone that did yoga back in 1979 was doing yoga for physical strengthening and agility. I even taught it to my Pius XI High School Girls’ Softball Team. I was their coach for the 1980-83 seasons.

As I practiced yoga more and more, I did notice that my mind was a bit quieter and more focused. Then, one thing that one of my teachers, Sandi Anderson, said really hit me. “Yoga is really experiencing and working with energy.” This didn’t make any sense until I learned that one of the dimensions of who we are in this physical world is the energetic self, called the pranamayakosha (the covering around atman that consists of the constantly changing life force called prana).

This pranamayakosha is the part of us that drives our physical body, activates our emotions and is known as the “subtle body.” Within that “kosha” (covering of the True Self), prana under the direction of the mind (“causal body”) and the True Self maintains our health, joy and well-being.

I thought that was a fascinating idea but I took it on faith that such a life force really existed. I believed my teachers and the Yoga Sutras. I had periodically in watching my breath sensed that there was something else “breathing me.” Then, under the direction of my yoga teacher, Pandit Rajmani Tigunait, I systematically was taught how to become aware of my life force, this subtle body. He introduced me to “Vishoka Meditation.”

It has taken me a number of months, almost two years, to become aware of the flow of this life force within me. But after realizing that prana is not a sensory experience, nor a mental, rational experience based on my imagination, but an “awareness” of an intelligent force that activates my entire physical and mental realities, I began to understand that I was more than a physical, rational being. I was part of the Life Force of the Universe. I had begun to touch the reality of my “DIP”ness. Through all the specific ancillary practices, like specific pranayamas and relaxations, I became aware of this subtle body and began to experience a reality of myself which was beyond my usual experience of body and mind. I became aware of a reality that reminded me, in the Christian sense, of the Holy Spirit running me.

It was like a part of myself that I had only before “believed” existed. Now, through direct experience, I know that I am more that my body and my mind.

According to yoga, this is not the Transcendent God, but is one with that Source of Life, one with my DIP Self, my true self.

I now know, through direct experience, more of who I am. That has brought me tremendous peace and calm, especially now that the medical world is in the process of harvesting my T-cells (my stem cells). After harvesting and frozen storage of those cells, all the cancer cells will be killed with the huge dose of chemo. It will also kill any fast-growing cells, therefore my hair cells, etc. Then, those life-giving T-cells will be re-introduced into my body, start to grow and regenerate my body. I am convinced that my pranic body which is directed by the Source of Life, my Beloved Divine Mother, will then guide my blood and body back to wholeness. After all, something other than my body and my mind will be doing this.

What a miracle! I now know that God is with me always and that my True Self will never die!

Namaste’